As you all may have sensed, I was having a bit of a pity party last week with the whole joblessness and other things.
Until I saw this:
Sometimes that’s just how it feels, isn’t it? You know that nothing lasts forever, but in those moments you are sitting in the deepest part of the pit(-y party), it sure feels like it will, right?
Thankfully, I have had several things come to me in various forms to remind me that there is a plan that is greater than what I currently see and that for right now, my job as a person of faith is to rest in this knowledge, find peace in this time of quietness, joy in the realization that I have had a summer off for the first time since grade school, and be secure in the knowledge that the things that await me are far better than what I have left behind.
Let me tell you, the last several days I have felt oh so much like one of the Israelites traveling through the desert. Here I am, having recently released myself from a situation that was intolerable and am traveling to a land of “milk and honey”. I should be rejoicing, but am I?
Nooooo!
I, like the Israelites, am whining about the fact that 
the road is longer than I want it to be; that I can’t see the end of the trial yet, that I can’t have all that I want when I want it.
Woe is me!
Pitiful, right? I must be having a melodrama hangover from my recent Shakespeare production. All I can say is I am eternally grateful that God has not turned me into a pillar of salt due to the number of times I have looked back and whined.
So what is it that has caused me to finally throw away the party horns for my pity party and change my perspective?
I am so glad you asked!!
The first thing was the sudden appearance of the book pictured here which was sent by my amazing cousin. It seems she has been reading my recent posts and has grown weary of the sullen tone which has permeated my writings so send me this to prod me in the right direction. Regardless of the reason for its appearance, the messages I have read thus far have resonated so loudly in my heart and mind that it feels as if it was written just for me!
As if to solidify the messages here, I was then presented with a video of the 12 laws of Karma.
Now I know what you’re thinking. I’m Christian. What in the heck am I doing reading and relating to the laws of KARMA and Buddhism?
Well there’s the thing.
These concepts are all based on the way we interact with the one another and the world around us and regardless of how they are framed and the 12 laws as represented in the video I saw depict a very similar life to the one that Christians believe God is calling us to live. Not being a student of Buddhism, I cannot speak to the video’s theological accuracy, but messages like sowing what we reap certainly rings true with Christian theology.
Pretty sure I read that in the Christian Bible somewhere.
While all of the 12 messages spoke to me,the message that struck me most was the law of growth which states that whatever one focuses on, that is what will grow. In other words, if I focus on positive things those things will come about but if I focus on negative things, that is what I see. The book above by Jen Sincero echoes this thought (not quite so gently): 
Yep, definitely being sent a message here.
And then by coincidence (or not), I opened the notebook in which I take sermon notes and came across the following message:
Don’t look at your past life and romanticize it; don’t let others talk you out of the dreams God places in your heart. We come here to church with our hands outstretched, waiting for His gifts but turn away from the gifts He places in our hands because the step forward is scarier than we expect.
The message spoke to me clearly when I heard it the first time, but it felt like a 2×4 slamming against my head the 2nd time.
Okay! I get it!
This time of transition – however long or short it may be – has a purpose. To rush it will only mean that I will end up here again needing to try to learn these lessons all over again. Since I really don’t want that to be the case, I am choosing to make the following changes:
- I am choosing to be grateful! Grateful both for the time that I had to refresh and renew myself, but also for the time that I have to redefine who I want to be; to be grateful for the time I have to gain wisdom and discernment for my new path.
- I am choosing to learn! Rather than be saddened when I look at my resume and don’t see a “career” or “profession”, I am choosing to see what lessons I have learned from the jobs I have held to see more clearly how to achieve the dreams that God as placed in my heart.
- I am choosing to stop putting time limits on God! I know I’m not the only one that does this but I am going to actively try not to do this in the future! I know that there is a plan and I am choosing to wait patiently for the plan to play out rather than whining when it doesn’t come to fruition in the time frame that I have randomly chosen.
Maybe this all sounds too easy or maybe I’ve been making this all too hard. Only time will tell, but I do know this. The moment I made these connections and started to think differently, I received a call to do a temporary assignment. Is that a huge thing? No, but it’s definitely a change in the right direction and I’ll take it!
So now I have a request for you, my kind readers.
Now that I’ve made these decisions public, I would like you all to hold me accountable.
Remind me of my choices if you hear that same negativity creeping in; reflect back to me the blessings of my life when I forget them. I would gladly do the same for you, if you would like. I am not saying this is a quick, easy fix, but it is a new direction. Come walk it with me, won’t you?
crookedroadfaith 